The Sinkhole Song

03:30 Download
Lucky Mud
2010-03-13
Mike McKinney

Story

Just a little ditty about the end of the world.

Lyrics

It started as a call to the local police, when the dispatcher said, "Can I help you, please?" She heard the man on the line say, without hesitation I think I'm on the edge of a bad situation You see, early this morning I went out in the yard To get the morning paper And to water the garden But all of my tomatoes and my clothesline pole Was sitting at the bottom Of a seven foot hole Well, I was just looking where my garden used to be When the hole got bigger And it swallered my tree Then it ate my fence And my mailbox, too So I'd get out here fast if I was you But you know by the time to police showed up The sinkhole was chewing On a pickup truck And by the time the police Called the National Guard The big hole ate up The house and the yard Then it nibbled on the driveway Munched a little more Stretched out and gobbled up The house next door The ace commentator On the six o'clock news Concluded there was nothing Anyone could do But the experts came From all over the state They talked about the sinkhole Watched while it ate up A four lane road And the Omelet Shoppe And they all agreed That was where it would stop But the hole kept growing and everybody ran While it ate up the houses And the experts' van And people watched the news From miles around As the sinkhole at up The entire town Well, they tried concrete And dynamite And engineers worked On through the night But the hole got deeper And the hole just grew It ate Orlando And Tampa, too It ate condominiums It ate Spook Hill It ate up Miami and Jacksonville And double-wide trailers Lined up in a row Before it sucked up The Gulf of Mexico Alabama, Georgia and Tennessee Both Carolinas Fell into the sea Mississippi, Missouri And Louisiana, too, All disappeared In that sinkhole brew While farther up North In the seat of the nation Senators and congressmen Passed Legislation Making it illegal With a very stiff fine For sinkholes to cross The Mason Dixon line But the hole kept going And it broke the law It ate Indiana And Arkansas It ate Massachusetts And it ate up Maine And it chewed up the prairies On the Western Plain It swallowed up the Rockies And was doing fine But it stopped dead still On the California line And the people of California laughed At the strange twist of fate That left them Of all people The remaining state So they decided to have a big jubilee But a San Andreas earthquake Dropped them into the sea © 2010 Lucky Mud

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    Americana Cafe Sunday at Roberts Hall,  Lynn Haven
     

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